Tokyohoon
09-10-2006, 02:19 AM
Not long ago and not far away there was a beautiful, big pristinely white teddy bear who sat on a shelf in a drug store waiting for someone to buy him and give him a home.
His name was Wolstencroft. And he was no ordinary bear.
His fur was a lovely shade of titanium white, and he had snow white ears, nose and feet. His eyes were sparkly and blue and he had a wonderfully wise look on his face.
Wolstencroft looked very smart in a pressed brown shirt and a black tie ‘round his neck with a red band ‘round his arm.
Attached to the tie was a tag with his name written in bold, black letters: Wolstencroft.
He had arrived in the store just before Christmas when there had been a lovely big tree in the window, all decorated with fairy lights. Yards and yards of sparkling tinsel had been draped over everything, and holiday music had been playing all the time. Wolstencroft was especially fond of Jingle Bells. He liked its light, tinkling sounds. It always made him feel merry.
At that time there had been lots of other bears to keep him company. In fact, there had been so many teddy bears crowded onto that one narrow shelf that he had scarcely had room to move.
But, one by one they had all gone. Gleefully waving goodbye as they were carried off to their new homes, the mud bears continually got in his way making it impossible for him to find a new home. Until finally, he was the only teddy bear left in the entire store.
He had hoped that Santa Claus would drop by on Christmas Eve and deliver him to a good home. But he hadn’t. Santa had been too busy that year, delivering even more presents than usual.
Wolstencroft felt sad and lonely sitting there all by himself on the shelf that was high above the Christmas cards. He longed to have a child take him home and love him and play with him. But, most of all, to hug him. For no hug is ever too big for a teddy bear.
He was trying hard not to cry because he knew that tears would make his eyes all puffy and red and then he would have even less chance of finding a home.
But why oh why didn't someone choose him?
Why, he wondered, was he passed over so many times for other less beautiful mud bears?
Then one day, shortly before Easter, three little white bunny rabbits were placed on the shelf beside him.
They all had very big ears and feet and long legs. All three were wearing woolen sweaters.
Rita Rabbit wore a pink sweater. Roger Rabbit a green one. And Ronnie wore blue.
Roger and Ronnie were twins, and Rita was their sister.
"My you are a handsome bear," Rita told Wolstencroft after the store had closed for the night. "I’m surprised that no one has bought you and taken you home."
"So am I," replied Wolstencroft and, although he tried very hard to stop it, a tear rolled down his furry cheek.
Ronnie and Roger had jumped down off the shelf and were playing tag up and down the aisles.
"Be careful and don’t knock anything over," Rita called to them.
Rita looked closely at Wolstencroft from every angle. She peered into his face and circled around him, her nose twitching. He had noticed that bunnies' noses twitch a lot. Then she sat down and remained deep in thought for a very long time.
"Well," he asked her, unable to stand the suspense any longer. "What do you think is wrong with me? Why doesn’t anyone want to buy me?"
"It must be your name," Rita answered.
"My name!" exclaimed Wolstencroft. "Why, what’s wrong with my name?"
"Oh, there’s nothing wrong with your name," Rita replied. "Wolstencroft is a wonderful name, but it’s too long for some people to say. Not everyone can pronounce it properly."
Now Wolstencroft had always been able to say his name correctly. But then, it was his very own name and everyone can say his or her own name. At least he thought that they could. Not when they are very little, of course. He couldn’t say his name when he was a tiny baby bear. But after he had started going to school he knew it very well.
"Wolstencroft," the teacher would call out. "Will you recite the alphabet for us today?"
And he would name all the letters from A to Z. All 26 of them. He was a very smart bear.
On Easter Sunday, very early just after the store had opened, a Mommy and Daddy bought Roger and Ronnie for their twin boys.
"They look nice," Rita said. She was happy that her brothers had found a good home but felt sad, too, because she was beginning to miss them already.
At the front of the store a table had been set up with chocolate Easter eggs. And as it was now Easter Sunday, they had been marked down to half price.
After everyone had gone home for the day, Wolstencroft picked the nicest egg he could find and gave it to Rita, to cheer her up.
They shared the egg, sucking on the sweet creamy chocolate and making sure it didn’t get onto their clothes.
Then they started to talk about the name Wolstencroft again.
"I wouldn’t want to change it," Wolstencroft declared. " I mean it’s me. I’ve had it all my life.
"But if it’s stopping you from getting a home," Rita insisted. "You may have to."
She hopped over to the book department and returned with a book called What to Name Baby.
Then she began reading out the names she thought might suit Wolstencroft.
"What about Adrian?" she suggested. "It’s a lovely name, very dignified."
But Wolstencroft shook his head.
"Well, what do you think of Bernard? It actually means brave as a bear."
But Wolstencroft was not impressed.
So Rita left the B's and began flipping through the pages of the book, reading out a name for each letter of the alphabet starting with C.
"Clive, David, Edwin, Francis, Graham, Howard, Ivan, Jeremy, Keith, Leonard, Miles, Nathan, Oliver, Percy, Quentin, Rodney, Selwyn, Timothy, Ulysses, Vincent, Winston."
And here she stopped because the names beginning with X, Y and Z: Xavier, Yves and Zachary, were too difficult to pronounce. There was no sense in taking a name that was even harder to say than the one he already had.
But Wolstencroft didn’t like any of the names she suggested. At least not for himself.
And he decided to name himself Trov88.
Nobody bought Wolstencroft, now Trov88, that day. Or the next day. Or the day after that.
In fact, all through that entire year, which felt very long indeed to Trov88, nobody took him home to love and to hug him. And by this time he longed to be hugged so badly that sometimes he thought he just couldn’t stand it any longer. Because, of course, no hug is too big for a teddy bear.
Soon it was almost Christmas time again. And the tinsel and the holly were decorating the drug store. And the shoppers were all very merry and wearing gaily colored scarves and mittens. But still no one bought Trov88, who was feeling extra sad and lonely sitting there all by himself high above the Christmas cards and wrapping paper.
Then one frosty evening when the stars were sparkling in the night sky and snowflakes were dancing past the windows, a little boy and his daddy came into the store.
"Hey look at this," said the daddy when he noticed Trov88's pristine whiteness. "You're always on about how you want a snow white bear! Why don’t you two get to know each other?" the daddy suggested as he lifted Wolstencroft down from the shelf.
And the little boy wrapped his arms around the little bear and stroked his soft fur. And they both loved each other from that moment on.
"I love him daddy, can I have him for Christmas?" he asked hopefully. And when his daddy said yes, danced around the store with Trov88, almost colliding with other shoppers as he did so.
Then the little bastard took him home, ripped off his arms and legs, shat on him and threw him into the fireplace, because as we know, that is the appropriate treatment for anyone who wants to put 88 in their nick.
The end.
You can appeal to banned@skinheads.net - but I kinda doubt you'll be finding love.
His name was Wolstencroft. And he was no ordinary bear.
His fur was a lovely shade of titanium white, and he had snow white ears, nose and feet. His eyes were sparkly and blue and he had a wonderfully wise look on his face.
Wolstencroft looked very smart in a pressed brown shirt and a black tie ‘round his neck with a red band ‘round his arm.
Attached to the tie was a tag with his name written in bold, black letters: Wolstencroft.
He had arrived in the store just before Christmas when there had been a lovely big tree in the window, all decorated with fairy lights. Yards and yards of sparkling tinsel had been draped over everything, and holiday music had been playing all the time. Wolstencroft was especially fond of Jingle Bells. He liked its light, tinkling sounds. It always made him feel merry.
At that time there had been lots of other bears to keep him company. In fact, there had been so many teddy bears crowded onto that one narrow shelf that he had scarcely had room to move.
But, one by one they had all gone. Gleefully waving goodbye as they were carried off to their new homes, the mud bears continually got in his way making it impossible for him to find a new home. Until finally, he was the only teddy bear left in the entire store.
He had hoped that Santa Claus would drop by on Christmas Eve and deliver him to a good home. But he hadn’t. Santa had been too busy that year, delivering even more presents than usual.
Wolstencroft felt sad and lonely sitting there all by himself on the shelf that was high above the Christmas cards. He longed to have a child take him home and love him and play with him. But, most of all, to hug him. For no hug is ever too big for a teddy bear.
He was trying hard not to cry because he knew that tears would make his eyes all puffy and red and then he would have even less chance of finding a home.
But why oh why didn't someone choose him?
Why, he wondered, was he passed over so many times for other less beautiful mud bears?
Then one day, shortly before Easter, three little white bunny rabbits were placed on the shelf beside him.
They all had very big ears and feet and long legs. All three were wearing woolen sweaters.
Rita Rabbit wore a pink sweater. Roger Rabbit a green one. And Ronnie wore blue.
Roger and Ronnie were twins, and Rita was their sister.
"My you are a handsome bear," Rita told Wolstencroft after the store had closed for the night. "I’m surprised that no one has bought you and taken you home."
"So am I," replied Wolstencroft and, although he tried very hard to stop it, a tear rolled down his furry cheek.
Ronnie and Roger had jumped down off the shelf and were playing tag up and down the aisles.
"Be careful and don’t knock anything over," Rita called to them.
Rita looked closely at Wolstencroft from every angle. She peered into his face and circled around him, her nose twitching. He had noticed that bunnies' noses twitch a lot. Then she sat down and remained deep in thought for a very long time.
"Well," he asked her, unable to stand the suspense any longer. "What do you think is wrong with me? Why doesn’t anyone want to buy me?"
"It must be your name," Rita answered.
"My name!" exclaimed Wolstencroft. "Why, what’s wrong with my name?"
"Oh, there’s nothing wrong with your name," Rita replied. "Wolstencroft is a wonderful name, but it’s too long for some people to say. Not everyone can pronounce it properly."
Now Wolstencroft had always been able to say his name correctly. But then, it was his very own name and everyone can say his or her own name. At least he thought that they could. Not when they are very little, of course. He couldn’t say his name when he was a tiny baby bear. But after he had started going to school he knew it very well.
"Wolstencroft," the teacher would call out. "Will you recite the alphabet for us today?"
And he would name all the letters from A to Z. All 26 of them. He was a very smart bear.
On Easter Sunday, very early just after the store had opened, a Mommy and Daddy bought Roger and Ronnie for their twin boys.
"They look nice," Rita said. She was happy that her brothers had found a good home but felt sad, too, because she was beginning to miss them already.
At the front of the store a table had been set up with chocolate Easter eggs. And as it was now Easter Sunday, they had been marked down to half price.
After everyone had gone home for the day, Wolstencroft picked the nicest egg he could find and gave it to Rita, to cheer her up.
They shared the egg, sucking on the sweet creamy chocolate and making sure it didn’t get onto their clothes.
Then they started to talk about the name Wolstencroft again.
"I wouldn’t want to change it," Wolstencroft declared. " I mean it’s me. I’ve had it all my life.
"But if it’s stopping you from getting a home," Rita insisted. "You may have to."
She hopped over to the book department and returned with a book called What to Name Baby.
Then she began reading out the names she thought might suit Wolstencroft.
"What about Adrian?" she suggested. "It’s a lovely name, very dignified."
But Wolstencroft shook his head.
"Well, what do you think of Bernard? It actually means brave as a bear."
But Wolstencroft was not impressed.
So Rita left the B's and began flipping through the pages of the book, reading out a name for each letter of the alphabet starting with C.
"Clive, David, Edwin, Francis, Graham, Howard, Ivan, Jeremy, Keith, Leonard, Miles, Nathan, Oliver, Percy, Quentin, Rodney, Selwyn, Timothy, Ulysses, Vincent, Winston."
And here she stopped because the names beginning with X, Y and Z: Xavier, Yves and Zachary, were too difficult to pronounce. There was no sense in taking a name that was even harder to say than the one he already had.
But Wolstencroft didn’t like any of the names she suggested. At least not for himself.
And he decided to name himself Trov88.
Nobody bought Wolstencroft, now Trov88, that day. Or the next day. Or the day after that.
In fact, all through that entire year, which felt very long indeed to Trov88, nobody took him home to love and to hug him. And by this time he longed to be hugged so badly that sometimes he thought he just couldn’t stand it any longer. Because, of course, no hug is too big for a teddy bear.
Soon it was almost Christmas time again. And the tinsel and the holly were decorating the drug store. And the shoppers were all very merry and wearing gaily colored scarves and mittens. But still no one bought Trov88, who was feeling extra sad and lonely sitting there all by himself high above the Christmas cards and wrapping paper.
Then one frosty evening when the stars were sparkling in the night sky and snowflakes were dancing past the windows, a little boy and his daddy came into the store.
"Hey look at this," said the daddy when he noticed Trov88's pristine whiteness. "You're always on about how you want a snow white bear! Why don’t you two get to know each other?" the daddy suggested as he lifted Wolstencroft down from the shelf.
And the little boy wrapped his arms around the little bear and stroked his soft fur. And they both loved each other from that moment on.
"I love him daddy, can I have him for Christmas?" he asked hopefully. And when his daddy said yes, danced around the store with Trov88, almost colliding with other shoppers as he did so.
Then the little bastard took him home, ripped off his arms and legs, shat on him and threw him into the fireplace, because as we know, that is the appropriate treatment for anyone who wants to put 88 in their nick.
The end.
You can appeal to banned@skinheads.net - but I kinda doubt you'll be finding love.