Funny Drunk Stories

[DontStopBelieving]

any story that involves drinking and won't take a novel to tell it.



i got drunk and was driven to the quick pick to get some food. i paid or my beef jerky then headed out to the car. it was parked near a ditch with my door facing it. i tried to get in the car and slipped. my elbow caught on the door and the jerky i was already attempting to eat went right into my right eye. my boyfriend-at-the-time's mom had to drive me to an optimologist the next morning. got a cornial abrasion right over my pupil. almost blinded myself with beef jerky.

[animebyrd]

ahaha... one at band camp...

nah.. i have gotten 'sick' from drinking those disgusting sweet girly drinks ... as i was driving home, i started to feel kind of ill.. ended up hurling but construction on the road prevented me from being able to pull over. i had to catch my puke in my hand and toss it out the window for a good couple of blocks... talk about disgusting but beats cleaning out the inside of the truck. :)

[TxDevil]

ahaha... one at band camp...

nah.. i have gotten 'sick' from drinking those disgusting sweet girly drinks ... as i was driving home, i started to feel kind of ill.. ended up hurling but construction on the road prevented me from being able to pull over. i had to catch my puke in my hand and toss it out the window for a good couple of blocks... talk about disgusting but beats cleaning out the inside of the truck. :)

And, repped.

[Ruby Doe]

ahaha... one at band camp...

nah.. i have gotten 'sick' from drinking those disgusting sweet girly drinks ... as i was driving home, i started to feel kind of ill.. ended up hurling but construction on the road prevented me from being able to pull over. i had to catch my puke in my hand and toss it out the window for a good couple of blocks... talk about disgusting but beats cleaning out the inside of the truck. :)

Yuck. Damn girlie drinks.

Once when I was 18 I had some stupid combo of beer and wine coolers. When we went to bed that night, I got way sick, and barfed all over myself on the way to the bathroom. My ex husband came in to check on me, and there I stood, naked in front of the toilet with my arms out to the side covered in red vomit. It was like a fucked up version of Carrie.
I was awesome.

[DontStopBelieving]

i once danced to some reggae while throwing up. didn't phase me a bit. nothing will stop me from dancing.

[Quadfather]

getting drunk backstage at a concert. i had like 10 free beers when a bandwife came over and yelled at a guy for "giving beer to the retarded guy"
so in my best retard voice i scream at her eeeyyyyeee waannnnnnn mooooourrrrrr beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr!!!!
i got the beer

[British Skin]

I was working in Singapore some years back, for a change me and a work buddy drove over to Malaysia for some R+R. Malay is pretty lawless and with only a little money you can have a real good time. My work buddy had been going to this "Rub and Tugg" bar for sometime. It was $30 ish to get in and that included free beer, free food, a steam room and a hand job from the masseur. If you wanted anything else from her you paid more. We goes in, drinks far too much beer, staggers into the steam room and picks a "masseur". I then goes into a small room strips off and lies down on the coutch. Now at some point I passed out because when I awoke I was frezzing cold and covered in oil. It was 7 a.m. in the morning, I'm now thinking that she has robbed me of my wallet and clothes but they are in a little neat pile on a chair. She must have started giving me a rub down and I fell a sleep. She had an easy escape, no rubbing down and jerking off the fat tattooed English guy. The cleaner had to let me out, met up with my work buddy later, he thought that I had left with out him. Crazy times.

[britva]

some buddys of mine were at a party mabe 4 years ago i remember cuz i was staying with my mom and she wouldn't let me go in her house unless i was so wasted that i would be asleep apon intrance. so my buddys and i are getting drunk hardcore like vodka wiskey blue ribbin you name it and in one night the people whose house we were at in a small verbal fight becuz this guy was trying to get in the party to see this 16 year old chick that he raped i guess well they kick this guys out hes like 25 or some shit and of course he wont leave so the chick that owns the house asks my friends and i if we'd like to help get rid of him. long story short he left the party in an ambulance. later that night these two guys were about to throw down one guys smashs a bottle on the stove to make into a stabbing weapon the other trying to be tuffer smashes a bottle on his own head KNOCKED HIMSELF OUT. but the best part my buddy had to use the shitter so hes in the bathroom and my buddys and i wait for him for about an hour were just drink and waiting and all of a sudden he comes out of the bathroom telling us we all should leave we asked why he told us look in the bathroom.

OUR FRIEND MANAGED SOME HOW TO SHIT ON THE SEALING ABOVE THE TOILET

to this day we don't know how but he says he remembers sitting taking a drink from his JD bottle and falling forward